027 - the principles for failure & how to avoid them...
In episode 026 we discussed the Principles for Success and how you can use them in your own life to achieve that which you desire to achieve... today, we're going to the opposite end of the spectrum and identifying the principles that always accompany failure and how you can be rid of them from your own life...
Again, this comes from my 2017 Book of the Year "Psycho-Cybernetics" by Maxwell Maltz - the plastic surgeon who discovered that change needs to come from a much deeper place than the superficial layers of our looks...
When it came to the people who "failed" to change their perspective of themselves with a newfound look & identity, these were the demons and devils always accompanying the person... being aware of these and making changes will rid you of your failure/fixed mindset and bring you into a successful one
This is an emotional feeling that develops whenever we cannot achieve an important goal or when a strong desire of ours is thwarted - but the good news is that frustration is natural and can be your friend, as it's telling you that something you're doing needs to change... it is only when frustration brings a deep dissatisfaction and excessive negative feelings that it becomes a problem - as is the case with those who view themselves as failures. An easy way to remove frustration is to set realistic and practical goals instead of striving for the ever-eluding perfect result...
Excessive and misdirected aggressiveness follows frustration as night follows day - the two will always go hand in hand... and misdirected aggressiveness is the keyword here... why? Well, it's essential in order for us to achieve our goals, as we must attack and go after them aggressively rather than tentatively. The problem lies in the way that we direct our aggression... if it's on our family or other people, it is misdirected and will only cause us more pain - whereas, if we can channel it toward our goals or out into exercise, it is beneficial to us
Insecurity stems from the thought pattern that we are not worthy, we lack self-belief and that we are inadequate. An insecure person feels that he should be 'good', or 'successful', or 'happy' - and herein lies the problem... these should be thought of as goals to achieve, rather than absolutes or end outcomes. Don't ever "try to be", just simply be
We cut ourselves off from our social circles, from our true selves, and from life... we get stuck inside our own heads, in our own ways, and end up holding ourselves back. Our own heads can be the deadliest of places to find ourselves, and if we stay in our own heads, we're dead... When we begin to tell ourselves stories of how others perceive us, and a self-defeating narrative, there's only one way out of it - through courage... courage to face and slay the Dragon - to expose yourself to that which we fear, as in doing so, we will be immunised against the fear
If there's one thing that's certain for us in life apart from death, it's that we can never be certain of what's going to happen... but we cannot let that cripple us from doing something or making a decision - as that in itself is a decision that will bring about a result we don't want... we need to understand that nobody is right 100% of the time, to know that failure is a stepping stone to success... and show the courage to take action and move toward that which we desire. Thomas Edison said it best with "No, I am not discouraged. As every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward"
Resentment is a never-ending rabbit hole that only sees you fall deeper and deeper into darkness. It's the one demon that holds us back from setting goals, as instead of taking action and getting what we want for ourselves, we feel like it's owed to us... you need to understand that you get what you want in life... your actions create your results, not somebody else's - and feeling jealous and resenting others for their hard work is a deadly trap
Emptiness comes from achieving without fulfilment - and its end is like that of Robin Williams - a man who achieved everything he set ever set out to, and in the end, left himself depressed and suicidal... simply because you reach the peak of the mountain doesn't mean you'll be happy - you need to fix yourself first at the core and not the environment around you... simply aiming to fix the environment is like placing a bandaid over a cut gushing with blood, it doesn't fix the problem - seeking stitches however, and aiming to fix the root cause of the problem (yourself), will help immensely though
- Do I show any of these failure driven principles or personality types, and if so, how can I best begin to get them out of my life?
- What are 1-3 actionable steps I can take to remove them?