056 - a new definition for fear...
Kirsten Muller was a mogul specialist on the U.S. Ski Team and has been the best female big-mountain skier in the world for 12 years straight - she's someone who knows and understands the concept and feeling of fear better than most
And one of the biggest truths she's found around this concept is that the advice to control, overcome, and rationalise the fear is bullshit. She's found that we can't simply think positive thoughts, take deep breaths and let it go. She's found that we can control fear as much as we control our breathing - that is, not very well and not for a long time
So what do we do with fear instead if we can't conquer it?
We can choose to acknowledge it and show courage in the face of it. Ulmers likes to "push it down into the basement". She helps people to understand that fear is not a sign of personal weakness, like we believe it to be, but instead, it's a natural state of discomfort that occurs when we're out of our comfort zone - or when we're seeking stress
Fear is not trying to sabotage us, it's trying to help us come alive, be more focused, and bring us into the present moment of what's happening around us. When we push this fear away, that's when we face a crazy, irrational version by living inside our heads and making all these BS stories up
We need to move toward the fear, go into it, feel it, merge with it, and let it show us the way. It's a natural feeling and phenomena that's here to help us grow in a rational sense
Like stress, we should seek a little more calculated fear - as it's how you will grow in life
Actionable Tip + Question:
- What's your current relationship with fear? Is it something you're trying to run away from? If so, why?
- What are you scared of? Is it a rational fear or an irrational fear? If it's irrational, what can you to today to move toward the fear and overcome it?