hard question 006 - is humility the defining characteristic...

We're brought up to believe that humility is a great characteristic to have. To remain humble, modest in our approach, and deflect the compliments and achievements off to others. We're taught and told that showcasing our worth and our talents is a form of ego... it's that tall poppy syndrome we all covet so much

But what if this is the entirely wrong approach...

The definition of humility is "the quality of having a modest or low view of one's importance"... therefore, when we're being humble, we're lowering our own view of ourselves and our self-worth... we're discrediting ourselves and generating negative internal beliefs and self-talk that can be incredibly harmful and detrimental

I'd know, as I do it a lot of the time. I'm always deflecting compliments about how The Academy is going... about how proud I should be of myself... and this reflects onto my own self-worth in certain instances as a common question I catch myself internally asking is "am I good enough to do this"

Our potentials are nearly limitless - as with enough energy, focus, and time there is nothing that we cannot go on to achieve, no skill we cannot learn. So the answer to my internal question becomes "fuck yes Nick, you're good enough"

Why can't we own it? Why is it so hard to take the compliments and thank the person for them and their respect? Why can't we accept them, feel the love, and use it as positive energy to move onward and push again?

Is it a way to let ourselves off the hook. To release some form of internal pressure from ourselves so that we can relax and not have to worry about pushing harder to reach that next level. Or maybe it's we don't want to have to "explain" what's happened when mistakes are made and we're not at our best?

We won't always be at our best though... that's impossible, setting PB and record after and after one another...

No, humility ties into how we perceive ourselves and the story we tell ourselves about ourselves. It ties into our confidence and our self-belief. That isn't to say that we should let the compliments and goodness of others go to our heads and feed our ego's, it's to say that we should accept them, thank the person for them, and use them as validation that we're on the right path to doing the things we want to do and become the person we want to become

"Thanks so much for that. I felt really good out there and like everything was in flow... I really want to focus on "x", but I'm happy with how it went..."

Remember: humility ties into how you perceive yourself and the story you tell yourself about yourself and what you're capable of. It ties into your confidence and your self-belief. So when people give you compliments, tell you how amazing you are, and give you great advice - take it on board, believe it, and use it... 

Actionable Tips + Questions:

  • Do you currently have a belief that humility is the defining characteristic? If so, why... why do you think this is the case and where does it show up in your life?
  • How would you rate your current self-worth (i.e. view of yourself) from 1-10, with 10 being you view yourself, your skillset and your abilities at the highest level... if it's lower than a 5, why? What are you seeing that we might not be?
Nick Maier